i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
