His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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