i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
