I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
