Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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