Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
