She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
