I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize