Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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