therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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