Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize