I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
