Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Randomize
