And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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