if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
