Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
