Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
