Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
