Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
