google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
