she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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