What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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