If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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