That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
