no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We have started to decorate penises.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
