take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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