I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
