why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
And then he peed in my hair
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