My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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