AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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