I think i peed on brittanys purse
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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