Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
