Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
