People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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