I am puke
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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