my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
