found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize