I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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