Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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