I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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