she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
