My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
