so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
