Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sober January is a disaster.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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