therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
