She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
