He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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