I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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