pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize