Its about making memories worth repressing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
