he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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