He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
