belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
