i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
