how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
