Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
