you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
