Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
